I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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