Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
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