I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
