I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
