We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
