I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
