You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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