Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
