I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
