Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
