ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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