who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
