We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
