I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
