You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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