I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
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