dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
