Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
she was so not down for the gang bang
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Randomize
