I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
