he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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