you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
