Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I AM VODKA MAN
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
