omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
