I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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