i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
