wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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