I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
