i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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