We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
