we made out on top of his cat.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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