dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
As shirtless as possible
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
