yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
