Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
You did what with his pubic hair?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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