i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
