I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
