I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
