I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
