Ambien. No doubt about it.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
