Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
