letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
