The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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