Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
