I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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