My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
either way he was missing a nipple.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
