yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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