He kissed a someone with a penis
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I can't turn off my feet"
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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