its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
