oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
