I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
