From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
