This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
