I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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