3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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