with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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